Commencement

I have walked across the stage at the James Brown Arena, wearing a black cap and gown with a white tassel and a gold medallion. I processed in, and back out, in perfect alignment with my peers participating in the event of "commencement."

What does that even mean? (I googled it... very reliable)

Commencement –noun 1. an act or instance of commencing; beginning: the commencement of hostilities. 2. the ceremony of conferring degrees or granting diplomas at the end of the academic year. 3. the day on which this ceremony takes place.

So this thing that I already participated in, marked both the beginning and the ending.

It is the ending of era for me. The closure to a long and winding road through many many semesters of not only college but formal education in general. I have attending school in one form or another since the fall of 1989. It's been a long road ladies and gentlemen. This means more than the obvious adios to binders and notebook paper and cramming and overcharged greasy lunches. This means no more spelled out formula for what comes next. True, I've mentioned this before... but follow me...

In elementary school, after third grade comes fourth and so on. After middle school comes high school. And after high school, for most, comes college. Once in the college club though, it gets a bit more tricky but you quickly learn that ever August and January there are more classes for you to take, either aimlessly or with a goal in mind, and eventually you find yourself filling up what is infamously known as a "track sheet." As this fills, excitement builds with both you and your advisor. There is an anticipation that builds at the prospect of graduating. And then you actually do...

And then...

An awesome meal later and a few dozen cards chock-full of well wishes... and there is an emptiness and uncertainty. Not to be melodramatic, it is the same emptiness and uncertainty that accompanies all new beginnings. True, I am still battling through the job market. I've dosed out my resume to companies, churches, organizations, and foreign teaching programs and still have no clear plan. Is it the end of the world? No. Is it a bit unnerving? Most definitely.

Summary (for those Choleric or otherwise ADD):
"My dad says that childhood is the happiest time of my life. But, I think he's wrong. I think my mom's right. She says that childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too..." -Hope Floats (1998)