Walk the Line

Hebrews 10:35-36 “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

So often as a "creative type" in the body of believers, I've had to be reigned back into humility. And rightly so, humility is a lesson that, for a dreamer, is a bit hard to keep in perspective while growing up. It was always easy, and almost natural, to assume that MY ideas were certainly the BEST ideas and I clearly saw outside the box better than almost anyone else. (Okay, it's true... There are days that I still lose to that lie.)

But I fear that the importance of developing a healthy balance of humility and confidence is something we forget to emphasize while discipling others or even while discipling ourselves. As I grew older and more sure of the life God was carving out for me, the strengths and gifts He'd birthed within me, and the perspective He was positioning me for, I still felt like embracing it confidently would be contrary to humility. Perhaps this is not something others struggle with, but as someone who's top spiritual gifts are most functional in very "seen" roles (worship & missions), I struggle to walk the line of humility and confidence. I want to, as Thoreau said, "Go confidently into the direction of [my] dreams." But I also want to be wide-open to whatever God has for me.

You know what I've decided after many long convos with Jesus about this?
He wants both. God is not honored in our confusion of humility into something of a passive believer. "Do whatever you want with my life, God. I have no thoughts or opinions and no plans to do anything but sit here until You say get up." No, God values the boldness of a believer who takes faith-filled-stumbles toward Him. The believer who says, "God, you've given me a vision- or at least a part of one. Now I'm going to form a plan and work the plan to do what You built me for." - THAT believer might actually make a difference in the Kingdom of Heaven!

To stay healthily balanced on this tight-rope, though, we must submit to leaders or friends who are close enough to remind us of the task and the grace that brought us there when we get off-track. We must stay sensitive to the Holy Spirit's corrections and redirections. We must stay teachable. We must stay flexible to the newness of life and with each season of possibility and obstacle that comes. I think of it now as this: It's the stumbles that keep us humble, but confidence keeps us moving forward. We need both. We won't succeed at His mission for our lives without both.